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Transcript
Valentimes
Valentimes TC
Clarence's Transcripts
Episode Season 3
Episode 2
Written & Storyboarded by Tony Infante (Writer)
Spencer Rothbell, Tony Infante, Sam Kremers-Nedell and Stephen P. Neary (Story)
Tiffany Ford and Arlyne Ramirez (Storyboard)
Chronology Previous: Sumo Goes West
Next: Clarence for President

[Kids are seen working on their Valentines cards]

Ms. Baker: And after you done with your cards, you know, you give them to a special someone you like. Or it could be just a friend, too. No presh. You guys are young, and that's, uh --

[Ms. Baker opens her bag and figures out it's all covered with lipstick]

Ms. Baker: ugh, that's your Valentine. [Ms. Baker takes out her glasses case] It's your day to appreaciate each other.

Clarence: Hey, Jeff, Jeff. Look.

[Clarence shows Jeff his Valentines card, with a cupid who "loves love"]

Clarence: He loves love.
Screenshot (1194)

[Jeff smiles, Clarence goes back to his place]

Clarence: I love love. [Giggles]

[Clarence takes Jeff's card]

Jeff: [Gasps]

[Clarence gives Jeff's card to Malessica]

[Clarence takes Mavis's card]

Mavis: [Grunts]

[Clarence gives Mavis's card to Belson]

[Belson throws away Mavis's card]

Belson: [Sighs] There, fixed it.

Mavis: [Grunting]

Ms. Baker: Hey, guys, keep it down, please.

Clarence: Ms. Baker. Who's your Valentime?

Ms. Baker: Oh, uh, it's all of you guys. You guys are all of my Valentimes.

Clarence: We already all have Valentimes. You got to have a real Valentime, too, like a grown up.

Percy: Is it Mr. Reese?

[Laughter]

Ms. Baker: Okay, guys, come on.

Belson: Is it no one?

All: Ooh!

[Chelsea gets up]

Chelsea: Who cares if Ms. Baker doesn't have a boyfriend? She's fine on her own.

Ms. Baker: Uh, Chel-- Chelsea.

Chelsea: I see her all the time at the Fryer's Cinnapuffs. Almost every week. We go there after soccer, and I see Ms. Baker there all alone.

Ms. Baker: Thank you.

Chelsea: Totally by herself, and she's okay.

Ms. Baker: [Sighs]

Chelsea: She's just fine.

Clarence: Hmm.

Chelsea: Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen her with anybody else before.

Clarence: [Smiles] Hmm.

Scene changes to West Aberdale.

Mr. Mozer: Quiet, class. It's Sumo's turn now.

Sumo: Uh, I brought this. [Sumo shows a dead frog] I found it.
Screenshot (1206)

-[Gasps] Whoa.

Mr. Mozer: Hmm. Interesting take, Sumo. Instead of a normal journal entry, you manifest this heartbreaking meditation on futility.

Sumo: Yeah, he's really smashed in there.

Mr. Mozer: You know, I can't help but be reminded of T.S. Eliot's "The Wasteland." "And I will show you fear in a handful of dust.

Sumo: Cool.

Girl: Um, Mr. Mozer, are we gonna do anything for Valentine's Day?

Mr. Mozer: Valentine's Day?

[Mr. Mozer looks at his schedule]

It's not Valentine-- oh. Oh, it is.

[Mr. Mozer puts a draw of a heart in a wall]

Mr. Mozer: Okay, uh, why don't we just have a discussion about how maybe we don't need big greeting-card companies telling us when we should and should not express our love, and through what? The power of consumerism?

Girl: Dunkin's mom made cupcakes.

[Dunkin grabs a plate full of cupcakes]

Mr. Mozer: Oh, cupcakes.

[You see kids and Mr. Mozer eating cupcakes]

-Mmm, oh.

-Oh, chocolate.

Mr. Mozer: Mmm.

Scene changes to Ms. Baker car

Ms. Baker: [Sighs]

[Ms. Baker gets in her car, and she sees a Valentine's Day card]

Ms. Baker: Hmm? [She reads the card] What? How'd this get in --

[Before Ms. Baker finishes reading the card, Clarence appears to be on the back seat]

Clarence: Ms. Baker!

Ms. Baker: Aah!

Clarence: Come over for dinner!

Ms. Baker: Clarence! What are you doing?
Screenshot (1328)

Clarence: It's Valentime's. You can't just have a sad microwave eat-it-over-the-sink dinner. Come to my house instead.

Ms. Baker: What? No.

Clarence: If you come, you might get hit by Cupid's arrow. [Whispering] I found you an amazing man.

Ms. Baker: What? Who?

Clarence: Only the most handsomest, nicest, rich man you'll ever meet.

Ms. Baker: [Sighs] Listen, Clarence, I'm working on myself right now.

Clarence: When will you be done?

Ms. Baker: It doesn't work like that.

Clarence: Will you be done working in time for dinner tonight?

Ms. Baker: [Sighs]

[In the later scene, Clarence is out of Ms. Baker's car, and she leaves with her car]

[Tires screeching]

Clarence: See you tonight! [Turns on his walkie-talkie] Come in, Sumo.

Scene changes to West Aberdale-

[School bell rings]

[While kids leave, Mr. Mozer listens to a man in his computer]

Male voice: And I will show you something different. From either your shadow atmorning, striding behind you...

[Before Sumo leaves, he listens to Clarence voice and he grabs his walkie-talike]

Clarence: Sumo, do you read me?

Sumo: What's up, man?

Clarence: Do you know any amazing men?

Sumo: Ah...

[Sumo looks at Mr. Mozer]

[Jazz music plays]

Sumo: [Chuckles]

Scene changes to Clarence's house.

[Mary and Chad are having a romantic dinner. Lights are turned off]
Screenshot (1338)

[Mary is about to give Chad another strawberry]

Chad: Ahh --

[Doorbell rings]

Chad: Huh? Uh, did you order pizza already?

Mary: What? No.

[Mary opens the door and figures out Ms. Baker was there]

Mary: Oh. Ms. Baker. I mean, Melanie. What brings you here? Is -- is Clarence in trouble?

[Clarence gets in the house]

Clarence: Mom, Ms. Baker's coming over for dinner! [Looks at Ms. Baker] Oh, Ms. Baker. You look great.

Mary: Clarence, I thought you were supposed to be at Sumo's.

Chad: Holy smokes. I did not know we were having company tonight.

[Chad takes out all the "romantic dinner" stuff]

Clarence: Why is it so dark in here?

Ms. Baker: Well, I-I hope I'm not imposing.

Mary: No, no, no, no, no, no. Please, come in. We're just -- we'll just turn on these [Turns on the lights] darn lights [Laughs]

Ms. Baker:Okay.

[Ms. Baker comes in and closes the door]

Clarence: Oh, my gosh, you're in my house. [Takes Ms. Baker's hand] I'll show you around. Don't be scared. It's not so different from school [Chuckles] [Shows Ms. Baker the coffee table] This is a coffee table. It's kind of like a desk, um, but for, like, watching TV and putting your feet on. [Shows Ms. Baker the TV] And this is my TV. Sometimes I watch it instead of doing my homework. Sorry. [Looks at the time in the DVD player. It's 7:50 PM] [Gasps] Oh, my gosh. Looks like Mozer got cold feet. [Grabs his walkie talkie] Mr. Chicken to Rooster Boy: Do you read me? Cue the backup.

[Sumo is in the back garden]

Sumo: Copy that. Hey. Come on.

[Hank shows up with some flowers and Sumo is opening the door]

[Doorbell rings]

Clarence: Sumo, abort backup! Abort! Abort! Abort!

[Sumo closes the door]

Sumo: Hey, get out of here.

[Hank throws away the flowers and leaves]

Clarence: Your prince has arrived.

Ms. Baker: [Sighs] [Touches her hair] [Hums]
Screenshot (1347)

[Clarence opens the door, Mr. Mozer is there]

Clarence: Hi, Mr. Mozer!

Mr. Mozer: Howdy, Clarence.

[Mr. Mozer comes in and Clarence closes the door]

Mr. Mozer: Thanks so much for having me over. Hey, I heard somebody likes a certain special TV show.

[Mr. Mozer shows Clarence a "The Mmms" bag with some colours and pencils]

Clarence: [Gasps] Oh, my gosh, "The Mmms." You're a perfect man. [Closes the bag] Take my hand.

[Clarence takes Mr. Mozer's hand and takes him with Ms. Baker]

Clarence: Mr. Mozer, I want you to meet Ms. Baker.

Ms. Baker: Oh, hi.

Mr. Mozer: Oh.

[Ms. Baker and Mr. Mozer take each other's hand]

Ms. Baker: Nice to meet you, yes.

Mr. Mozer: I think I recognize you from the Common Curriculum Conference.

Ms. Baker: Oh, you were there?

Mr. Mozer: Of course. I remember you asked a insightful question about --

Ms. Baker: Oh, oh, oh, oh. About those furlough days.

Mr. Mozer: Right! Everyone was thinking it, and you just said it!

Ms. Baker: [Laughs] Yeah, well, what were they thinking? Sometime you just got to teach 'em.

[Both laugh]

Mr. Mozer: You got to -- you got to teach them, yeah.

Clarence: It's working.

[At dinner time, Mary opens the fridge to see what's there]

Mary: [Sighs] Oh, boy [Sniffs a cheese] Ugh, no, that's not good.

Clarence: (heard from distance) Okay, Ms. Baker. You sit over here,

[Mary closes the fridge]

[Clarence is putting some seats on the table]

Clarence: and, Mr. Mozer, you sit right here.

Mr. Mozer: Oh, yeah, great. [Chuckles] [Clears throat]

[Ms. Baker sits right to Mr. Mozer]

[Clarence watches Ms. Baker and Mr. Mozer]

Clarence: [Chuckles]

Sumo: [Chuckles]

[Sumo puts 2 candles on the table]
Screenshot (1359)

Mr. Mozer: Ah, kids, right?

Ms. Baker: [Laughs]

[Chad comes to the dining room]

Chad: Oh, man, we're in luck. I found an extra seat.

[Chad puts his extra seat next to Sumo]

Mary: So good to have you guys over for dinner.

[Mary puts some food in the table]

Mary: I managed to, uh, scrounge something up for us.

Mr. Mozer: I'm starting to get the feeling that --

Clarence: Drinks for the lady!

[Clarence gives Ms. Baker a glass with orange juice]

Clarence: Da, da, da, da!

[Clarence gives an empty glass to Mr. Mozer, and then he puts orange juice in it]

Clarence: Get a little juice in here.

[Clarence grabs Mr. Mozer's glass of orange juice]

Clarence: So, Mr. Mozer, looks like you're really hitting it off with your Valentime's date.

[Mr. Mozer takes his glass of orange juice]

Mr. Mozer: Oh, uh, thank you. Wait. Date?

[Mary takes Chad's hand]

Mr. Mozer: Date?

[Clarence takes Sumo's hand]

Mr. Mozer: Date?

Ms. Baker: This drinks are pretty good, huh?

Mr. Mozer: Date?

A flashback is shown in Mr. Mozer's mind.

[Bell rings]

[You see Mr. Mozer when he was a kid. He falls off a swing and a lot of Valentime's stuff is seen around him]

Mr. Mozer: [Wailing]
249ec2146cad9068c2b7bdaf338fa3da

Flashback ends.

Mr. Mozer: Date? Date? Date?

Ms. Baker: [Touches her hair] Uh, Craig?

Mr. Mozer: Yes! The drinks are very good!

Chad: Oh, wow.

Mary: Uh, you know, you really can't force these Valentine's things. It was only when I really stopped looking, you know, that I got in a good enough place where Chad and I just found each other naturally.

Ms. Baker: Huh? Oh, oh, no, no. We're -- we're not --

Mr. Mozer: No, no, not us. No.

Chad: Oh, it's true, man. Oh, I love the single life. Uh, but finding Mary was the best thing that ever happened to me.

[Both chuckle]

Ms. Baker: Yeah. [Drinks orange juice]

Mr. Mozer: Uh... [Eats a chip]

[Clarence gets upset]

Clarence: Hmm. Sumo, a word.

[Sumo and Clarence hide under the table and both talk with their walkie-talkies]

Clarence: Kkk! What are we gonna do? Mom and Chad are hogging all the love.

Sumo: Uh, on it. [Takes out some hair from Chad's leg]

[Tearing, thud]

Chad: What? Ow! Mar.

Mary: Come on, Chad. I was just playing.

Clarence: Kkk! Now we got to spice things up. Time for the love potion.

Sumo: Copy that.

[Clarence gets up and grabs some sheet he wrote about Ms. Baker and Mr. Mozer]

Clarence: Okay, time to get to know each other. Starting with Ms. Baker.

[Sumo grabs some stuff from the table]

Clarence: Ms. Baker writes, "I'm a simple, small-town girl with big-time, uh, ambitions."

Ms. Baker: Is that my Aber-Dating profile?!

Clarence: Yep. We found Mr. Mozer's, too, but his was so boring.

Ms. Baker: [Groans] I can't believe this is happening.
Screenshot (1376)

Clarence: "I love Western-style barbecue." Oh, I like that.

Chad: Oh, Western style's underrated.

Mary: Uh, Clarence, I think that's enough of that, all right?

Sumo: [Chuckles] [Puts some barbecue and stuff on a glass] [Sniffs Ms. Baker's lipstick]

Clarence: Wait, this other stuff is also kind of boring.

[Ms. Baker tries to take Clarence's sheet]

Ms. Baker: Give it -- Clarence.

Mr. Mozer: Hello.

Ms. Baker: C-Clarence!

Clarence: Ms. Baker, I'm trying to read it.

Ms. Baker: That stuff is really personal.

Clarence: Let's see here. We got biggest fears. Are you scared of dying alone?

Mr. Mozer: [Chuckles]

Sumo: [Clears throat, clicks tongue]

Clarence: [Gasps] Hmm. Oh, my. It is time for the main course.

[Clarence goes to the kitchen]

Mr. Mozer: Uh...

Ms. Baker: [Sighs]

[Clarence opens the fridge and looks for food]

Clarence: ♪ Do, do, do, do, do ♪ [Clarence grabs the cheese] Oh, here we go.

[Clarence goes back to the dining room]

Clarence: [Grunts] [Grabs a little piece of heart-shaped cheese] Here we go. Ms. Baker.

Ms. Baker: Oh. [Gives her plate to Clarence]

[Clarence puts the cheese on Ms. Baker's plate]

Clarence: [Humming] [Puts mustard on the plate, and then he puts a chip] Sprinkle this. [Puts salt on the food] Eh, a little more. [Puts more salt on it, and the plate is all covered with salt] Mr. Mozer, can you pass this to Ms. Baker, please? [Gives the plate to Mr. Mozer]

Mr. Mozer: Oh, uh, sure. [Passes the plate to Ms. Baker]

Ms. Baker: Ooh, yes, thank you. Uh, mmm, yummy.

[Clarence gives the same food to Mr. Mozer]

Mr. Mozer: Wow, great concept. Can't wait to try it. [Grabs a fork]

Mary: Oh, Craig, you don't have to do --

Mr. Mozer: The little guy went through the trouble, so... [Eats the food, but it tastes bad] [Gulps] [Gagging] [Drinks what Sumo has prepared] [Gags] [Spits]
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[Ms. Baker leaves Clarence's house and her dress is wet]

Ms. Baker: Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! [Gets in her car]

[Mary, Chad, Clarence, Sumo and Mr. Mozer come to Ms. Baker]

Mary: I'm sorry, Melanie. Please come back. Aah!

[Chad stands in front of Ms. Baker's car's glass]

Chad: We got to rub some club soda on that dre--

[Ms. Baker activates the windshield and it hits Chad]

Ms. Baker: I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

Clarence: Ms. Baker, I know you're not at school, but you got to try and fall in love!

[Sumo licks the glass of Ms. Baker's car]

Ms. Baker: Ugh! I got to get out of here. [Turns on the car]

[Engine starts]

Mr. Mozer: Uh, you know, why don't we --

[Mr. Mozer stands in back of the car, but then te car hits him]

Mr. Mozer: whoa!

Mary: Holy moly!

Chad: Oh! Craig!

Sumo: [Laughs]

Mr. Mozer: [Straining] I'm okay. Ow.

Scene changes and Ms. Baker now has other clothes and she's with Mr. Mozer inside of Clarence's house.

Mary: Oh, boy, I'm really sorry again about all the --

Ms. Baker: Please, don't worry. I think we had a good night.
Screenshot (1395)

Mr. Mozer: [Chuckles] Did we?

Ms. Baker: Okay, bye, guys.

Mary: You have a nice night.

Chad, Clarence and Sumo: Bye.

Mary: Thanks for coming over.

[Ms. Baker and Mr. Mozer leave Clarence's house]

Mr. Mozer: Uh, Valentine's day, right?

Ms. Baker: [Laughs] Uh, yes. You know, believe it or not, I've had worse.

Mr. Mozer: Oh, [Chuckles] so have I.

[Meanwhile, Mary, Chad, Clarence and Sumo spy them from the window]

Mary: What are they saying?

Chad: Words of some sort.

Clarence: Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss.

Ms. Baker: You know, I'm actually still kind of hungry. Uh, want to maybe grab some falafel as pals?

Mr. Mozer: Love me some falafel.

[Mary and Chad stop spying]

Chad: [Hugs Mary] Now, where were we?

Mary: [Laughs]

[Clarence hugs Sumo]

Clarence: Looks like Cupid's arrow struck again. But why stop here? [Puts on glasses]

[Music plays]

[One of Clarence's meat hearts falls on a man, and a woman watches him]

♪ Eat my meaty meat hearts ♪

Woman: [Gasps]

♪ They'll make you fall in love ♪

[A young man is about to give a ring to his girlfriend, but a meat heart falls on the ring]

Young man: Huh?

[A meat heart falls between two dogs, and both bark]
Screenshot (1404)

♪ My meat hearts will spread the love so far ♪

[Another man is driving a bike with his girlfriend, but a meat heart falls on the man's eye and the bike hit sometehing]

[Crash]

♪ Can you taste the love tonight? ♪

[Clarence throws a meat heart on the glass of the "Falafel Palace", where Ms. Baker and Mr. Mozer were eating]

[Clarence throws a lot of meat hearts in a street with a lot of people]

♪ My meat hearts will spread my love tonight ♪

The End