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Transcript

Ms. Baker: [reads a story to the class] "The animals danced and feasted a rare night of revelry in the bleak Mardryinian winter. Suddenly, Mrs. Higgles' whiskers began tingling."

Kimby: [yawns]

Ms. Baker: 'Something isn't right,' she said. 'I sense it, too,' said Soothlian McTarver. The old gopher sniffed the ground inquisitively."

Percy: Oh! Oh! A-Are--

Ms. Baker: "But unbeknownst to our heroes..."

Percy: Are any animals real?

[The students groan.]

Ms. Baker: No, Percy, again, this is just a story. It's not real.

Belson: [while playing with a mechanical pencil] Is he old enough to be in this class?

Percy: Ohh.

Clarence: Percy. Hey, Percy. I think it would be cool if they were real, too.

Percy: Me, too! [He and Clarence both giggle.]

After school...

Percy: [knocks on door]

[A dog is heard barking in the distance. The door opens up.]

Clarence: Hey, Percy.

Percy: Thanks for having me over. I brought some celery.

Clarence: [gasps, eats the celery and throws it away] Hey, want to see a surprise? [They're inside afterwards.] Welcome to the legend of animal town! [A pigeon coos, as an inflatable pool, being used as the 'animal town' is being revealed] Look I got us all these animals. [Percy giggles.] I made us a little animal world, just like you were talking about in class.

Percy: Ohh! Aww!

Clarence: And now it's real just like you wanted.

Percy: [giggling] How did you find them?

Clarence: Well, young Percius...

[Upbeat music plays as the scene cuts to a flashback]

[lizard groans as it gets picked up]

[Pigeon coos and gets caught in Clarence's shirt]

Clarence: Ah! Y-You're fine. You're fine. [The scene cuts back to normal.] I tried to put a cape on this guy, but he wouldn't really let me. [Pigeon coos] Hey, should we give them names?

Percy: No, they have to name themselves!

Clarence: Oh, okay, uh, uh, that makes sense.

Percy: What are we waiting for? Let's have an adventure! [He enthusiastically jumps onto the edge of the pool, causing it to deflate.]

Clarence: So, our heroes take off by ship. Uh, but then he remembered flying was better.

Percy: [giggles] Where are you?

Clarence: Where'd those little beetle guys go? [Funk music plays as the aforementioned beetles crawl out of Clarence's hair and walk down by him.] A-Are you getting hungry? Check it out. My mom gave me 20 pizza dollars. She said that I can get my own pizza now, 'cause I'm a big, responsible boy.

Percy: Can we bring our friends?

Clarence: Aw, yeah! Let's bring them-- Wait, I really want to do that, but...

Mary: Okay, Clarence, I'm going to book club. Now, remember, if you're gonna do anything... creative... just keep it in the garage, okay, hon?

Clarence: Sorry, buddy.

Percy: Ohh. [the lizard in his hand starts grunting briefly]

Clarence: We'll have plenty of adventures after pizza.

[Enchanting music plays]

Mrs. Bugsby: E-E-Excuse me. Is it safe?

Mr. Bugsby: It doesn't look safe.

Xavius: Oh, I'm so famished. Could this be it? The prophecy of the feast, finally? [Something white falls down, which turns out to be pigeon poo.]

Cookie: Oh, was that me? [laughs] Wow.

Xavius: Anyway, today may be the day we finally fill our bellies.

Fartholomew: [shows up and laughs] Still clutching to your fairy tales, old man?

Xavius: Fartholomew!

Fartholomew: Isn't it obvious why we're here, hm? We're here because the pink one locked us up!

Diana: Fartholomew, Xavius, please. I must get back to my sons. Help me find a way out of here.

Fartholomew and Xavius: Hmph!

Back in the kitchen...

Clarence: [calling with the telephone] Okay, all right. Uh, tell me more about this pizza supreme. Uh-huh. Yeah, I saw that on a commercial. Uh-huh. Mm-hmm. [Enchanting music plays] Wow. What? [laughs] You really are cooking up some amazing things over there. [Music stops]

Percy: We should see if our friends want anything special.

Clarence: What? Frie-- wait, wait. Hold on, Jeremy. Hold on. [to Percy] We're not playing that right now. [to Jeremy] Oh, no, no. Not you, Jeremy. I never play games with you. Mm-hmm. [Laughs] Stop. What? No, you hang up. Okay.

Back in the garage...

Diana: The only way out is the way the pink one keeps us locked in.

Cookie: [laughs] Coo! Leave it to old Cookie. [flies onto the doorknob and examines its lock] Hm. It's locked. [Grunts] I'm stuck! [Everything starts rumbling and a sound similar to a church bell intensifies, and he does a poo once again] Uh, wha-what's that?

Fartholomew: Oh, no. We're doomed.

Back in the living room...

[Doorbell ringing] He really came. [Grunts] We called pizza to our house. [Giggles] We're the moms now. Hello, big, responsible pizza man. I'm a big boy, too. - Yeah, here's your pizza. - Thank you, sir. - Here, Percy. - Warm! - That's Percy. - Yeah. It's gonna be $16. 25. Dang it. I'll be right back. Here we go. - Okay, one, two, more for you - Oh, come on. Oh, sorry. This is such a mess. Let me just straighten these out for you here. [Giggles] Hm? [Enchanting music plays] Ohh Clarence: 6, 7 rhymes with 11, - 12, 13 - Dale: No, come on, kid. You're counting wrong. Just here, let me count. [Giggling]

Back in the garage...

Fartholomew: Steady, you nincompoops! [Grunting]

Mr. Bugsby: It's okay, dear. You tried. You rest now. Rest.

Diana: Just a little further.

Xavius: [grunts and gasps as a shadow approaches] Oh, my.

[The door opens, and all animals scream as they and the plank crash onto the ground]

Percy: Hi, friends. I brought you a feast.

Back at the front door...

Clarence: All right, show me the "bespeckled" president.

Dale: Uh, that one.

Clarence: That one's Pirate Lincoln. Guess again.

Dale: Oh, man. I got to go.

Clarence: Oh, um, why don't you just take them all?

Dale: Sweet.

Clarence: Oh, I'm gonna blow this later.

Dale: Just made my night.

Clarence: Percy?

[Enchanting music plays as the animals celebrate their 'feast']

Fartholomew: Luxury! Sheer luxury!

Cookie: [Laughs]

Percy: (he's now shown as a mouse named Percius) [Laughs] Food! [Giggling]

[Music stops]

Clarence: Percy?

[Music resumes]

Diana: My children shan't go hungry this winter.

Cookie: You're my hero, Percius.

Fartholomew: May I kiss your tail, Percius?

Percius: [pulls his tail away] No!! Keep dancing!

[Music stops]

[Clarence opens the door, to see that Percy, in reality, is just crawling around on one single pizza.] [Percy grunting] [Dramatic tones play]

Clarence: Percy, no! Get out of here. Shoo! Move it, squirrel. Get out of here! Go! Shoo!

Percy: Feast! Feast! Feast!

Clarence throws the pizza away in a trash can that's outside.

The scene cuts to Clarence bathing Percy in the bathroom.

Clarence: Percy! Pizza's not for animals. It's people food, for us.

Percy: [coughs as water is poured over his head]

Clarence: Uh, it's okay.

Percy: [farts and giggles] Bubbles.

Clarence: All done.

Percy: Done! Yay! [Giggles] Ooh! Clarence, are you gonna kick out all the animals?

Clarence: Not tonight. [Grunting] I'll just let them go in the morning.

Percy: But why can't we keep them?

Clarence: 'Cause they're animals. They got to be outside and find their own food and stuff.

Percy: But I like the animals.

Clarence: I know. Good night, buddy. [kisses Percy on the cheek and falls asleep once he's in his own bed.]

Percy: Night-night.

Back in the garage...

Diana: Face it, Xavius we're through!

Xavius: Perhaps the pink one will throw another feast... or something.

Fartholomew: Nonsense. There is no love in the pink one's heart.

Diana: Fartholomew, you survived the dark times. What would you have us do?

The situation now turns into a song, 'End The Boy'.

Fartholomew: Ohh, he hates us

He keeps us on the ground

Maybe it is time - t'was the other way around...

Diana: What's he doing?

Fartholomew: in the house [thunder crashes]

on the road

there's a tyrant sitting smugly on his throne

see him laugh, ha-ha-ha - see him sneer

Xavius: Oh, yes.

Fartholomew: the only thing he covets are your tears

All: and, ohh, the pink one

Mr. and Mrs. Bugsby: he's a warlock

Xavius: He's a jailer

Percius: [suddenly shows up] He's not fun.

[Animals murmur]

Fartholomew: he tries to break our spirits

Percius: he must be defeated

All: end the boy

Clarence: [Snoring]

All: end the boy, end the boy, end the boy, end the boy end the boy, end the boy end the boy - end the boy, end the boy...

Percius: This way!

All: end the boy, end the boy - end the boy, end the boy...

Percius: Grab your swords!

All: and, ohh, the pink one

Cookie: He's twisted!

Fartholomew: he's evil

Percius: He's a bad friend!

All: and, ohh, the pink one...

[The situation turns back to reality, where Percy carries the box with animals to Clarence's room.]

Percy: [Singsong voice] The mighty mighty, mighty, mighty pink one...

[The scene turns back into the song.]

Fartholomew: he's clever, insane

Percius: we'll end him all the same

All: end the boy!

Percius: Let's go get him!

[The situation returns back to reality, where Percy throws all of the animals onto Clarence, who wakes up by it.]

Percy: end the boy, end the boy end the boy, end the boy - # end the boy, end the boy # - Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aaaah! Aaaaaah! Aah! Ohh! [Singing indistinctly] No, no! Oh, no, no! Clarence: Oh, gosh, this is supposed to be the garage. - # end the boy, end the boy, end the boy # - [grunts] Get out of here! All of you shoo! Shoo! Go! You, too. [Groans]

Xavius: Aah! [Grunts as he drops onto the ground.]

Fartholomew: Yes, so much for the prophecy.

Xavius: The prophecy lives! There is another.

[TV static is seen, crackling]

Mr. Reese: [Snores]

[enchanting music plays]

Clarence: Hey, hey, it's all right buddy.

Percy: [Whimpers]

Clarence: I got some secret cereal. [gets the cereal, eats it] See? It's good. Mmm. What's the matter? You don't like cereal?

Percy: [Crying] I want to... I want to live in I want to live in someplace magical, but I... but I live in Aberdale! [Sobbing] I want to live with Xavius and Diana, and I want to fulfill the prophecy of the feast and go to the mouse wedding! [Sobbing]

Clarence: Did you come up with all that yourself?

Percy: Yes!! Yes, I made it up! - None of it's real, okay?!

Clarence: Okay. Okay.

Percy: [Sobbing]

Clarence: Well, do you think you could start over?

Percy: [Sniffles]

Back at school...

Percy: "And the animals feasted and feasted for 100 winters." The end.

Ms. Baker: Okay. Not sure why I let you read that, But, uh, come on guys, let's hear it for Percy's little story he made up.

[Scattered applause]

Belson: So dumb.

Percy: It was real.

Clarence: It really happened. [hugs Percy] They don't know. It was real.

Belson: [Groans] What is he, your baby? Why don't you two just go get-- [Grunting] [Screams as he get a bug stuck in his eye.]

[The class laughs at Belson]

Clarence: All right, Mr. Bugsby! [Chuckles] Go!

Belson: [Screams]

Mr. Bugsby: [Sighs] A bug could really settle down here. There's so much space.

END


— The Tails of Mardrynia/Transcript —
Season 0 Pilot
Season 1 Fun Dungeon Face OffA Pretty Great Day With a GirlMoney Broom WizardLost in the SupermarketClarence's MillionsClarence Gets a GirlfriendJeff's New ToyDinner PartyHonkDollar HuntZooRise and ShineMan of the HousePuddle EyesDream BoatSlumber PartyNature ClarenceAverage JeffLizard Day AfternoonThe ForgottenNeighborhood GrillBelson's SleepoverToo Gross For ComfortPilot ExpansionPatientsRough Riders ElementaryNothing VenturedBedside MannersJeff WinsSuspendedTurtle HatsGoose ChaseGoldfish FolliesChimneyStraight IllinDust BuddiesHurricane DillissHoofin' ItDetentionHairenceLil' BuddyChalmers SantiagoTuckered BoysWater ParkWhere The Wild Chads AreBreehn Ho!The Big Petey Pizza ProblemThe Break UpIn DreamsBalanceSpooky Boo
Season 2 The InterrogationLost PlaygroundBird Boy ManFreedom CactusPlane ExcitedEscape from Beyond the CosmicRen FaireTime CrimesSaturday SchoolAttack the Block PartyField Trippin'Ice Cream HuntCompany ManStump BrothersThe Tails of MardryniaClarence Wendle and The Eye of CooganSneaky PeekyGame ShowSkater SumoMystery GirlThe SubstituteClassroomDullanceJeff's SecretSpace RacePlant DaddiesBucky and the HowlWorm BinClarence and Sumo's Rexcellent AdventureBirthdayTree of LifeCapture The FlagClorisFishing TripBelson's BackpackMotelMerry MoochmasPizza Hero
Season 3 Sumo Goes WestValentimesClarence for PresidentRock ShowThe Phantom ClarenceJeffery WendleBadgers & BunkersDingus & McNobrainBye Bye BakerFlood BrothersPool's Out For SummerBig GameThe Boxcurse ChildrenKarate MomClarence Loves ShoopyPublic RadioChad and the MarathonOfficer MoodyGilben's DifferentCool Guy ClarenceJust Wait in the CarMissing CatBig Trouble in Little AberdaleDare DayThe TradeA Nightmare on Aberdale Street: Balance's RevengeChadsgivingDog King ClarenceTrampolineThe TunnelAnimal DayBelson Gets a GirlfriendA Sumoful MindTalent ShowBrain TVRC CarEtiquette ClarenceClarence The MovieVideo StoreAnywhere But Sumo
Shorts Beauford T. PusserHave a BallBig BoyBeach BlastBelson TouchSeparation AnxietyBeansSticky ClarenceClaw MachineBirding With GuylerRainy DayClarencio MagnificoDoodle BattleLonely Lonnie