| The Tails of Mardrynia | Gallery | Transcript |
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Ms. Baker: [reads a story to the class] "The animals danced and feasted a rare night of revelry in the bleak Mardryinian winter. Suddenly, Mrs. Higgles' whiskers began tingling."
Kimby: [yawns]
Ms. Baker: 'Something isn't right,' she said. 'I sense it, too,' said Soothlian McTarver. The old gopher sniffed the ground inquisitively."
Percy: Oh! Oh! A-Are--
Ms. Baker: "But unbeknownst to our heroes..."
Percy: Are any animals real?
[The students groan.]
Ms. Baker: No, Percy, again, this is just a story. It's not real.
Belson: [while playing with a mechanical pencil] Is he old enough to be in this class?
Percy: Ohh.
Clarence: Percy. Hey, Percy. I think it would be cool if they were real, too.
Percy: Me, too! [He and Clarence both giggle.]
After school...
Percy: [knocks on door]
[A dog is heard barking in the distance. The door opens up.]
Clarence: Hey, Percy.
Percy: Thanks for having me over. I brought some celery.
Clarence: [gasps, eats the celery and throws it away] Hey, want to see a surprise? [They're inside afterwards.] Welcome to the legend of animal town! [A pigeon coos, as an inflatable pool, being used as the 'animal town' is being revealed] Look I got us all these animals. [Percy giggles.] I made us a little animal world, just like you were talking about in class.
Percy: Ohh! Aww!
Clarence: And now it's real just like you wanted.
Percy: [giggling] How did you find them?
Clarence: Well, young Percius...
[Upbeat music plays as the scene cuts to a flashback]
[lizard groans as it gets picked up]
[Pigeon coos and gets caught in Clarence's shirt]
Clarence: Ah! Y-You're fine. You're fine. [The scene cuts back to normal.] I tried to put a cape on this guy, but he wouldn't really let me. [Pigeon coos] Hey, should we give them names?
Percy: No, they have to name themselves!
Clarence: Oh, okay, uh, uh, that makes sense.
Percy: What are we waiting for? Let's have an adventure! [He enthusiastically jumps onto the edge of the pool, causing it to deflate.]
Clarence: So, our heroes take off by ship. Uh, but then he remembered flying was better.
Percy: [giggles] Where are you?
Clarence: Where'd those little beetle guys go? [Funk music plays as the aforementioned beetles crawl out of Clarence's hair and walk down by him.] A-Are you getting hungry? Check it out. My mom gave me 20 pizza dollars. She said that I can get my own pizza now, 'cause I'm a big, responsible boy.
Percy: Can we bring our friends?
Clarence: Aw, yeah! Let's bring them-- Wait, I really want to do that, but...
Mary: Okay, Clarence, I'm going to book club. Now, remember, if you're gonna do anything... creative... just keep it in the garage, okay, hon?
Clarence: Sorry, buddy.
Percy: Ohh. [the lizard in his hand starts grunting briefly]
Clarence: We'll have plenty of adventures after pizza.
[Enchanting music plays]
Mrs. Bugsby: E-E-Excuse me. Is it safe?
Mr. Bugsby: It doesn't look safe.
Xavius: Oh, I'm so famished. Could this be it? The prophecy of the feast, finally? [Something white falls down, which turns out to be pigeon poo.]
Cookie: Oh, was that me? [laughs] Wow.
Xavius: Anyway, today may be the day we finally fill our bellies.
Fartholomew: [shows up and laughs] Still clutching to your fairy tales, old man?
Xavius: Fartholomew!
Fartholomew: Isn't it obvious why we're here, hm? We're here because the pink one locked us up!
Diana: Fartholomew, Xavius, please. I must get back to my sons. Help me find a way out of here.
Fartholomew and Xavius: Hmph!
Back in the kitchen...
Clarence: [calling with the telephone] Okay, all right. Uh, tell me more about this pizza supreme. Uh-huh. Yeah, I saw that on a commercial. Uh-huh. Mm-hmm. [Enchanting music plays] Wow. What? [laughs] You really are cooking up some amazing things over there. [Music stops]
Percy: We should see if our friends want anything special.
Clarence: What? Frie-- wait, wait. Hold on, Jeremy. Hold on. [to Percy] We're not playing that right now. [to Jeremy] Oh, no, no. Not you, Jeremy. I never play games with you. Mm-hmm. [Laughs] Stop. What? No, you hang up. Okay.
Back in the garage...
Diana: The only way out is the way the pink one keeps us locked in.
Cookie: [laughs] Coo! Leave it to old Cookie. [flies onto the doorknob and examines its lock] Hm. It's locked. [Grunts] I'm stuck! [Everything starts rumbling and a sound similar to a church bell intensifies, and he does a poo once again] Uh, wha-what's that?
Fartholomew: Oh, no. We're doomed.
Back in the living room...
[Doorbell ringing] He really came. [Grunts] We called pizza to our house. [Giggles] We're the moms now. Hello, big, responsible pizza man. I'm a big boy, too. - Yeah, here's your pizza. - Thank you, sir. - Here, Percy. - Warm! - That's Percy. - Yeah. It's gonna be $16. 25. Dang it. I'll be right back. Here we go. - Okay, one, two, more for you - Oh, come on. Oh, sorry. This is such a mess. Let me just straighten these out for you here. [Giggles] Hm? [Enchanting music plays] Ohh Clarence: 6, 7 rhymes with 11, - 12, 13 - Dale: No, come on, kid. You're counting wrong. Just here, let me count. [Giggling]
Back in the garage...
Fartholomew: Steady, you nincompoops! [Grunting]
Mr. Bugsby: It's okay, dear. You tried. You rest now. Rest.
Diana: Just a little further.
Xavius: [grunts and gasps as a shadow approaches] Oh, my.
[The door opens, and all animals scream as they and the plank crash onto the ground]
Percy: Hi, friends. I brought you a feast.
Back at the front door...
Clarence: All right, show me the "bespeckled" president.
Dale: Uh, that one.
Clarence: That one's Pirate Lincoln. Guess again.
Dale: Oh, man. I got to go.
Clarence: Oh, um, why don't you just take them all?
Dale: Sweet.
Clarence: Oh, I'm gonna blow this later.
Dale: Just made my night.
Clarence: Percy?
[Enchanting music plays as the animals celebrate their 'feast']
Fartholomew: Luxury! Sheer luxury!
Cookie: [Laughs]
Percy: (he's now shown as a mouse named Percius) [Laughs] Food! [Giggling]
[Music stops]
Clarence: Percy?
[Music resumes]
Diana: My children shan't go hungry this winter.
Cookie: You're my hero, Percius.
Fartholomew: May I kiss your tail, Percius?
Percius: [pulls his tail away] No!! Keep dancing!
[Music stops]
[Clarence opens the door, to see that Percy, in reality, is just crawling around on one single pizza.] [Percy grunting] [Dramatic tones play]
Clarence: Percy, no! Get out of here. Shoo! Move it, squirrel. Get out of here! Go! Shoo!
Percy: Feast! Feast! Feast!
Clarence throws the pizza away in a trash can that's outside.
The scene cuts to Clarence bathing Percy in the bathroom.
Clarence: Percy! Pizza's not for animals. It's people food, for us.
Percy: [coughs as water is poured over his head]
Clarence: Uh, it's okay.
Percy: [farts and giggles] Bubbles.
Clarence: All done.
Percy: Done! Yay! [Giggles] Ooh! Clarence, are you gonna kick out all the animals?
Clarence: Not tonight. [Grunting] I'll just let them go in the morning.
Percy: But why can't we keep them?
Clarence: 'Cause they're animals. They got to be outside and find their own food and stuff.
Percy: But I like the animals.
Clarence: I know. Good night, buddy. [kisses Percy on the cheek and falls asleep once he's in his own bed.]
Percy: Night-night.
Back in the garage...
Diana: Face it, Xavius we're through!
Xavius: Perhaps the pink one will throw another feast... or something.
Fartholomew: Nonsense. There is no love in the pink one's heart.
Diana: Fartholomew, you survived the dark times. What would you have us do?
The situation now turns into a song, 'End The Boy'.
Fartholomew: Ohh, he hates us
He keeps us on the ground
Maybe it is time - t'was the other way around...
Diana: What's he doing?
Fartholomew: in the house [thunder crashes]
on the road
there's a tyrant sitting smugly on his throne
see him laugh, ha-ha-ha - see him sneer
Xavius: Oh, yes.
Fartholomew: the only thing he covets are your tears
All: and, ohh, the pink one
Mr. and Mrs. Bugsby: he's a warlock
Xavius: He's a jailer
Percius: [suddenly shows up] He's not fun.
[Animals murmur]
Fartholomew: he tries to break our spirits
Percius: he must be defeated
All: end the boy
Clarence: [Snoring]
All: end the boy, end the boy, end the boy, end the boy end the boy, end the boy end the boy - end the boy, end the boy...
Percius: This way!
All: end the boy, end the boy - end the boy, end the boy...
Percius: Grab your swords!
All: and, ohh, the pink one
Cookie: He's twisted!
Fartholomew: he's evil
Percius: He's a bad friend!
All: and, ohh, the pink one...
[The situation turns back to reality, where Percy carries the box with animals to Clarence's room.]
Percy: [Singsong voice] The mighty mighty, mighty, mighty pink one...
[The scene turns back into the song.]
Fartholomew: he's clever, insane
Percius: we'll end him all the same
All: end the boy!
Percius: Let's go get him!
[The situation returns back to reality, where Percy throws all of the animals onto Clarence, who wakes up by it.]
Percy: end the boy, end the boy end the boy, end the boy - # end the boy, end the boy # - Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aaaah! Aaaaaah! Aah! Ohh! [Singing indistinctly] No, no! Oh, no, no! Clarence: Oh, gosh, this is supposed to be the garage. - # end the boy, end the boy, end the boy # - [grunts] Get out of here! All of you shoo! Shoo! Go! You, too. [Groans]
Xavius: Aah! [Grunts as he drops onto the ground.]
Fartholomew: Yes, so much for the prophecy.
Xavius: The prophecy lives! There is another.
[TV static is seen, crackling]
Mr. Reese: [Snores]
[enchanting music plays]
Clarence: Hey, hey, it's all right buddy.
Percy: [Whimpers]
Clarence: I got some secret cereal. [gets the cereal, eats it] See? It's good. Mmm. What's the matter? You don't like cereal?
Percy: [Crying] I want to... I want to live in I want to live in someplace magical, but I... but I live in Aberdale! [Sobbing] I want to live with Xavius and Diana, and I want to fulfill the prophecy of the feast and go to the mouse wedding! [Sobbing]
Clarence: Did you come up with all that yourself?
Percy: Yes!! Yes, I made it up! - None of it's real, okay?!
Clarence: Okay. Okay.
Percy: [Sobbing]
Clarence: Well, do you think you could start over?
Percy: [Sniffles]
Back at school...
Percy: "And the animals feasted and feasted for 100 winters." The end.
Ms. Baker: Okay. Not sure why I let you read that, But, uh, come on guys, let's hear it for Percy's little story he made up.
[Scattered applause]
Belson: So dumb.
Percy: It was real.
Clarence: It really happened. [hugs Percy] They don't know. It was real.
Belson: [Groans] What is he, your baby? Why don't you two just go get-- [Grunting] [Screams as he get a bug stuck in his eye.]
[The class laughs at Belson]
Clarence: All right, Mr. Bugsby! [Chuckles] Go!
Belson: [Screams]
Mr. Bugsby: [Sighs] A bug could really settle down here. There's so much space.