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Transcript
Pizza Hero
Pizza Hero Title Card
Clarence's Transcripts
Episode Season 2
Episode 39
Written & Storyboarded by Nick Cron-DeVico (Writer)
Spencer Rothbell, Tony Infante, Sam Kremers-Nedell and Stephen P. Neary (Story)
Jason Dwyer and Katie Aldworth (Storyboard)
Chronology Previous: Merry Moochmas
Next: Sumo Goes West

[Italian music plays]

Episode begins in Aberdale Elementary's Gym.

Principal: This is been by far one of the best years for Aberdale Elementary. I'm so proud of you all. Now I know you're all excited for Papa Marianio's big pizza summer kickoff.

[Kids cheer]

Principal: But first, the Spirit Awards from Mr. Reese.
Okay, let's get this over with

[Kids groan]

Jeff: Yes!

Mr. Reese: Thank you. Thank you Mr. Principal.

[Principal leaves]

Jeff: Whoo!

Mr. Reese: Okay, Jeff cool it. Now get this thing over with. I got a list of awards, so I'm just gonna go through them.

Sumo: Uggggh!

Jeff: Sumo, shush!

Mr. Reese: The award for Most Punctual goes to... Darlie.

Jeff: What?!

[Darlie takes her award]

Clarence: Hey, Sumo.

Sumo: What?

Clarence: Remember the last assembly, when it seemed like Papa Marianio wasn't gonna show up to give us pizza, like he always does?

Sumo: Yeah?

Clarence: But then he parachuted down from the rafters dressed up like a pepperoni?

Sumo: Yeah!

Clarence: But that wasn't even as cool as two years ago when he had a cannon that shot out cheesy sticks!

[Imitates cannon]

Sumo: [Laughing] Yeah!

Clarence: Yep, he is pretty much a real-life superhero.
Guys, it's just pizza

[Both sigh]

Belson: You guys talking about Papa Marianio?

Chelsea: I heard that for every pizza he sells, he gives one to charity.

Jeff: Guys, please. It's just pizza. You eat it, and it's gone. Awards are forever. They determine how we're remembered.

Sumo: Eh, everyone just remembers what they want to remember. I remember when Papa Marianio designed the original version of the Aberdale flag, and it was a pizza!

-Yeah!

Jeff: It's just pizza! Come on, guys. I worked really hard to win these.

Mr. Reese: Okay, now for the award for Best Active Reading -- whatever that means, eh... Breehn.

Jeff: Who's casting these ballots?

Clarence: [Sighs] Papa Marianio. My hero. This one time, when I was just a wee boy...

A flashback is shown in where Clarence tries to take off the hat from Rough Rider's statue.

Clarence: I wanted to see if I took the hat off the Rough Rider's statue if it would turn from a metal man back into a regular meat man. But when I tried to pull it off...

[Clarence falls off the statue]

Clarence: Whoa! Ohh!

[Clarence falls on a pizza dough]

Clarence: ...Papa Marianio saved me with his pizza dough!

Flashback ends.

[Clarence is show with shiny eyes]

Clarence: He's my pizza hero.

Mr. Reese: Okay, now, uh, Best Teacher is... It's a tie! Uh, me and Ms. Baker! Hmm? Where are ya, Melanie? Come up here, so we can accept it together

Ms. Baker: Ugh! Yeesh!

[Ms. Baker hides behind Clarence, Jeff and Sumo]

Ms. Baker: Hey guys! Can't wait till Papa Marianio gets here, huh?
Pizza Hero 13

Clarence: Yeah! He's my hero!

Sumo: Yeah! Pizza!

Jeff: Not you, too, Ms. Baker.

Ms. Baker: I know. He's amazing! This one time, I was so sad...

A flashback is shown in where Ms. Baker is sad because shw broke up with Demian.

Ms. Baker: [Crying, sniffling] [Grunts]

[Ms. Baker throws Demian photo]

[Ms. Baker's cellphone says "0 new texts"]

Flashback is paused.

Ms. Baker: ...uh, because... my cat died.

Flashback is show back again.

Ms. Baker: [Chuckles nervously] [Crying, sniffling continue]

[Knock on door]

Ms. Baker: Huh?

[Ms. Baker opens the door]

[Papa Marianio give a heart-shaped pizza to Ms. Baker]

Ms. Baker: And Papa Marianio brought me a pizza.

Marianio: Hey!

Ms. Baker. In shape of a --

Flashback is paused.

Ms. Baker: a -- a cat.

Flashback is shown back again.

Ms. Baker: [Laughs]

Flashback ends.

Ms. Baker: I-I said "cat," right?

Jeff: You know guys his restaurant has a "C" rating, right?
Pizza Hero 23

Mr. Reese: Let's see... um, uh... Most Studious goes to...

Jeff: [Sits up] Oh, oh! Shhh! I-It's my moment.

Mr. Reese: Percy!

[Percy falls off the stairs]

Percy: [Grunting, groaning]

[Jeff sits down]

[Percy takes his award]

Percy: Ooh! Thank you, Abderdably Elementary. I will really, really like this award.

Mr. Reese: Percy, you don't -- you don't have to give a speech.

Percy: Quiet, you man!

Mr. Reese: Ehh...

Percy: Um, also, there's someone I want to thank. So, this one time, my bike broke, and he -- Papa Marianionio -- he -- he came up...

A flashback is shown in where Percy rides his bike until he hits a hole and his bike's fron tire breaks.

Percy: Oh. [Wails]

[Marianio arrives with his truck]

Marianio: Hey!

Percy: Huh?

[Marianio gets off the truck and replaces the bike's broken tire with a pizza]

Marianio: Hey!

Percy: Yay-ay-ay-ay...

Flashback ends.

Percy: ...ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay --

Jeff: How was that helpful?!

Sumo: Hey! He saved my life!

A flashback is shown in where Sumo ties a watermelon.

Sumo: (narrating) It started like any other day.

Sumo: 1,003...
Pizza Hero 34

[Sumo ties one more rubberband to the watermelon]

Sumo: 1,004...

[Sumo ties one more rubberband to the watermelon]

[The watermelon starts moving]

Sumo: Huh? [Rumbling] Whoa! This thing's gonna blow!

[Marianio falls off the sky]

Marianio: Heeeeeeeeeeey!

Sumo: (narrating) And out of nowhere...

[Marianio hits the watermelon, and it blows up]

[Boom!]

Sumo: ...he took the hit that was meant for me.

Flashback ends.

Jeff: What was he even doing there?!

Ms. Shoop: One time, he ran out of those normal boxes,

A flashback is shown in where Marianio gives Ms. Shoop a lot of little pizza boxes.

Ms. Shoop: (narrating) so he gave me my pizza in a bunch of weird little boxes.

Marianio: Hey, I ran out of regular boxes, so I'm a-gonna give you the pizza in a bunch of little boxes.

[Marianio starts giving Ms. Shoop little boxes]

Marianio: Here you go! Oh! Here's some more! Hold on a-tight! I got some more for ya!

[Ms. Shoop make a dog house out of these pizza boxes]

Ms. Shoop: (narrating) Made a whole doggie house out of them.

[Barking]

Ms. Shoop: (narrating) Tiger loved it!

Flashback ends.

[Clarence hugs Ms. Shoop]

Ms. Shoop: Papa M -- great guy. Mm.

Chelsea: He taught me about pie charts!

A flashback is shown in where Marianio teachs Chelsea about pie charts with a pizza.
Pizza Hero 41

Flashback ends.

Camden: Well, he made me a custom pizza with none of my allergens.

A flashback is shown in where Marianio shows Camden a pizza.

Flashback ends.

Mary: He taught Chad about pie charts, too!

A flashback is shown in where Marianio teachs Chad about pie charts with a pizza.

Flashback ends.

A flashback is shown in where four pizzas are fighting Gilben.

[Pizzas moaning]

[Marianio arrives]

Marianio: Hey!

[Laughing maniacally]

[Marianio kills each pizza with a spaghetti]

Flashback ends.

[Laughter]

Chelsea: Stop! My sides hurt!

Mr. Reese: Oh, you're one of the good ones, Gilben. Okay. Best smile goes to... Jeff!

Jeff: [Gasps] It's happening!

[Jeff goes to take his award]

Jeff: Well, Aberdale, it is an honor to win this award! And I just want to say --

[Jeff looks in front of him and nobody on the gym is listening to him]

-Papa Marianio... -Papa Marianio... -Papa Marianio...

Sumo: One time, he delivered pizza to our house and he brought an extra kibble pizza for all our dogs.

Mary: Chad and me had our first date on Marianio's One.

[Indistinct conversations]

Jeff: You people are deluded!
WHO THE HECK CARES ABOUT PIZZA

-Huh?! -Huh?! -Huh?! -Huh?!

Jeff: Clarence, he wasn't trying to break your fall that day.

Clarence's flashback continues, you see Marianio taking off the pizza.

Jeff: He was just stealing dirty rainwater for his pizza dough.

Flashback ends.

Jeff: Percy, replacing a bike wheel with a pizza pie i-i-i-is the logic of a maniac!

Percy's flashback continues, he tries to keep riding his bike, but it doesn't work due to the pizza.

Flashback ends.

Percy: [Squeaking] Oh, no!

Jeff: Chelsea, that was your dad who taught you about pie charts.

Chelsea's flashback is shown again, but this time, Marianio and his pizza are gone, Mr. Keezheekoni was there with a pie chart.

Flashback ends.

Jeff: Chad, that was also Chelsea's dad who taught you about pie charts.

Chad's flashback is shown again, but this time, Marianio and his pizza are gone, Mr. Keezheekoni was there with a pie chart.

Flashback ends.

Jeff: Ms. Baker, isn't it kind of unsettling that he know about your romantic troubles?

Ms. Baker flashback continues, Ms. Baker eats the pizza but keeps crying, Marianio watchs her.

Ms. Baker: What?! Romantic troubles?! No, it was my cat, remember?

[Sobbing]

Flashback ends.

Jeff: And Sumo!

Sumo's flashback continues.

Ms. Baker: [Sobbing]
Pizza Hero 60

[Marianio falls off Ms. Baker home]

Marianio: Heeeeeeeeeeey!

[Marianio hits the ground and the watermelon blows up]

Marianio: Daaaaaaaah!

Flashback ends.

Sumo: Oh, yeah, that was at Ms. Baker house.

Ms. Baker: What?! Why?!

Belson: Jeff, you don't even know what you're talking about. Papa Marianio saved my life.

Jeff: Oh, did he, Belson?

Belson: Yes.

Jeff: Did he?

Belson: [Crying] Yes, he did!

Jeff: Did he?!

Belson: [Crying] Remember when I fell off the roof and broke all my bones?

A flashback is shown that seems to be from Bedside Manners.

[Some doctors take Belson to a hospital room]

Male Doctor: All right, he needs more fluids.

Male Doctor 2: If his O sats drop any farther, we're gonna have to intubate!

Female Doctor: How's his heart working?

Belson: [Wheezing]

[Papa Marianio comes]

Marianio: Mama mia! A-My boy-a!

[Papa Marianio gives Belson some sauce]

Marianio: Try some of-a Papa's sauce!

[Later, he accidentally hit a doctor and he leaves]

Marianio: Ehh! Gaah! Aa-- Aa-- Uhhh...

Belson: [Gulps] [Weakly] Thank you, Santa Claus.

Flashback ends.

Jeff: What good did that do?! Papa Marianio isn't a hero! He's a weirdo!

[Everybody look at Jeff]

Camden: Well, I-I guess he has a point there.

Sumo: I feel like something inside of me just died.
What you said cut us deep, dude

Clarence: It can't be true. I-I won't believe it.

Chelsea: Man! I'm so bummed!

Percy: I don't want to go on living.

Jeff: That's better. Now, as I was saying, I may have won Best Smile, but it's only because you all give me so much to smile about. So go on and give yourselves a round of applause. [Chuckles] Huh?

[Jeff looks at the kids, everyone is sad]

Jeff: Come on. Are you guys still thinking about that Marianio?

Clarence: What'd Papa Marianio ever do to you? Huh?

Jeff: Nothing. Nothing at all. He's just weird.

Clarence: Come on! What did he do?!

Jeff: Fine! You want to know?! I'll tell you! I'll tell you all the grisly details!

A flashback is shown in Jeff's 7th birthday.

[Little Jeff is moving a knife]

Jeff: (narrating) It was my 7th birthday, and I had make sure that everything was perfect.

Little Jeff: Perfect!

Jeff: (narrating) Until it was pizza time.

[Little Jeff takes his pizza, and before eating it, the pizza's filling falls off on Jeff's clothes]

[Splat!]

Little Jeff: [Whimpers]

Little Camden: Jeff, did you say something?

Little Jeff: [Screaming]

[Thunder crashes]
Why are you alive, Marianio!

Flashback ends.

Camden: That doesn't sound like his fault at all.

Jeff: Well, everyone remembers what they want to remember.

Sumo: Why would you want to remember that?

Clarence: I want to remember that he gives out free cheesy sticks -- for free!

Chelsea: I want to remember that he saved my cat from a fire one time.

Mary: I want Chad to remember how to tie a tie without me.

[Chad breaks a video box called "How to Tie a Tie"]

Sumo: Let's face it -- For a creepy weirdo, he was a great guy.

[Indistinct talking]

[Horn honks]

[Percy looks at a window and Marianio's truck is there]

Percy: It's him!

[Kids cheering]

[Kids leave the gym]

Mr. Reese: Pizza? Whoo!

[Mr. Reese leaves the gym]

Mr. Reese: [Laughs] Pizza, here I come!

Jeff: But... I won.

[Clap]

Marianio: Hooray, Jeff! A-Jeff is a winner!

Jeff: [Chuckles] Oh. Thank you, Papa Marianio. You really are the best of us.

[Kids stop walking]

Clarence: Look! He's over there!

[Kids cheering]

[Kids go to where Marianio is]

Jeff: All right, Aberdale, let's hear it for the Papa!
Keep looking for pizza, kids!

[Cheering]

[Kids grab Marianio and throw him several times]

[Marianio deflates]

[Cheering stops]

[Papa Marianio laughs]

[Papa Marianio takes off his Jeff head, revealing that Jeff was actually Marianio all the time]

Jeff: [Panting]

[Jeff gets into the gym]

Jeff: Sorry I'm late! Did I win?

[Laughing]

Percy: W-Why is he -- Wha-- What's happening?

Ms. Baker: Why did you tell us all that bad stuff about our memories?

Belson: Why'd you pour pizza sauce down my throat?

Clarence: And how come you knew about Jeff's 7th birthday party?

Marianio: Ah! Well-a... Well I guess-a I stubbed my toes recently. Uh, I missed a delivery to my house, and I had to go to the post office earlier this week. But... if you were to ask-a me... I guess-a the real answer is...

[Marianio opens a courtain in the roof and a lot of pizzas fall]

Marianio: ...pizza!

[Laughs]

[Kids cheering]

[Sumo jumps and eats a pizza]
Pizza Party (2)

[Camden grabs a carrot pizza]

Camden: You guys! He remembered!

[Cheering continues]

[Mary and Chad eat pizza]

Clarence: Wow.

[Laughing]

[Marianio runs on the stage but he falls]

Marianio: Whaaaaa!

[All gasp]

[Some pizza fall on Marianio's face]

[Slow clapping]

[Applause]

[Mariano wakes up]