(Episode begins with Jeff, Sumo, and Clarence walking through the woods with Clarence holding a stick while Sumo is crawling and sniffing on the ground then stops and gasps.)
Sumo: (stands up and blocks Jeff and Clarence's path.) Our path is blocked!
Clarence: (approaches a tumbleweed) Stand back Sumo wise. Leave this one to the wizard. LOE-see and TOE me ah-MAR-ro! (Whacks the tumbleweed with the stick several times and slows down and stops) That one was just a scout! The other pusses will be looking for him.
'Jeff: Why did we have to walk through the woods? There's a sidewalk. (Looks at side while cars are driving)
Clarence: Fool of an elf! (Winks while moving his other eye left and right) That's exactly what an eyeball would expect us to do. We may pass nearby treasures, (Kneels) but the Pizza Swamp is (Moves arm quickly upward) worth it!
Jeff: Okay! (Pretends shooting a bow and arrow twice)
In Pizza Swamp
Clarence: Here it is! The dreaded Pizza Swamp! (Pizza Swamp arcade comes into view) The most dangerous part of our journey! (The gang goes into Pizza Swamp) Look at all these games! Free for the playing. (Many games are shown on-screen. One game says and repeats "Insert Coin!") Let's go pick out our prizes!
Jeff: (Giggles) Wait. Really! Clarence, if you pick out our prizes now, you're setting yourself up for dissapoint... (Jeff spots a lazer pointer) Oh my gosh; they have a lazer pointer? That is actually really cool!
Clarence: Man, I want that disco ball!
Belson: (Playing a dinosaur shooting game. Dinosaurs are screaming) Yeah, it's super easy! All ya gotta do is shoot 'em in the mouth. It's not even hard. (Dinosaur comes out of refrigerator and sreams the screen says Game Over) What!? Man, these games are sooo glitchy (Gives a $20 bill to Percy, who takes it to a token machine) (Spots Clarence and his friends) Oh, Great! Here comes the dork parade.
Clarence: Oh, hey Belson! What's going on, buddy?
Belson: (Scoffs) Whatever.
(Percy inserts 20 dollar bill on heres a lot of coins, Percy grabs a coins, Percy runs and chuckles.)
Sumo: Are we gonna play for tickets or can we play the fun games?
Clarence: Oh, sumo. All games will be played and prizes won because i got a fresh twenty dollar bill right in my back pocket. (Sumo and Jeff's lip opens.) Right...around...here. (Clarence grunts, the hand goes a pockets, and it's empty.) Guys, don't get mad, but i left my money at home.
Jeff and Sumo: Aw, Clarence.
Clarence: Oh. Wait a minute. I forgot aboutmy wizard dollor (Hand soes the shoes.) in my wizard shoe. (Pulls a one dollar bill.) Gotcha! (Clarence inserts one dollar bill and gets 4 coins.) Okay, one for the elfling. (Gave a coin to Jeff.) One for the gnome. (Gave a coin to Sumo.) And one for the wizard. (Hands flips around up.) And...I guess we don't need this one. (He throws a coin.)
Jeff: (Gasps.) Clarence, no!
(Kids screams and giggling to get a coin.)
Sumo: Well, if we only get one game, i'm gonna make it count.
Clarence: That's the right spirit. I hereby command that, even though we only one token each, we will have the greatest day in all of the pizza swamp!
Belson: (He chortling.) Yeah. oh, sorry. Yeah, no, I'm sure you will. (Laughs.)
Clarence: Okay, guys, let's split up. (Sumo Clarence DONK!)
Jeff: No, no, Clarence. No. (DONK!) Ow. Okay, okay. There's got to be a game here that i can get to pay out with just one token.
(Memo watches Emilio plays a game called "Plumb Crazy".)
Plumb Crazy Arcade: Plumb harder! (Toilet Flushes.) You're not very good at this.
(Boy plays a game called "Big Betty")
Unnamed's Mother: Go on, sweetheart. Feed big betty.
Unnamed boy with green shirt: No!
(Music plays money broom singy, he disorted.)
Money Broom Arcade: Money Broom.
Jeff: That one might actually work. If i could get the coin to land on just the right spot, juust right.
Clarence: (Clanking.) Eenie, Eenie, miney, moe. where it stop nobody knows. (Coin inserts, with music comes, he disorted again.)
Money Broom Arcade: Money Broom.
Clarence: (Jeff runs away.) Well, that was kind of fun.
Jeff: Wh-- Cl-- Clarence, no! You can't just play "Money Broom". You have to know how to beat the system.
Clarence: It's okay. It was worth it.
Jeff: No. I'll win it back. I'll win then all back.
Clarence: Okay. I'm gonna eat that pizza crust. (Sounds BLOOP! 7 times. He eats pizza stick thing.) Mmm. Savory. (He walks, He surprises Jessica's Birthday, He sloop and eats a cake with match fire thing. He gasps. The birthday hat says "B-Day Gurl".) Wizard hat. (He puts on.) Ploop.
Keith Mack guy: Hey, This is keith mack, bass player for iron tiger. If you're watching this, our band's already been kidnapped. You're the only one who can save us!
("Insert Coin" sumo gasps with insert coin, he walks away. Then, Clarence rans with arcade, Dancing with Dance Arcade, Playing racing.)
Clarence: Out of my way! (Imitates explosions.) Oh, crashing! (Runs with circle with arcade games.) Come On! Come On, Everybody! Who's gonna catch me? (Runs stops for talking with Try.) What one are you looking at?
Try: I want that finger trap, nut the claw keeps dropping it.
Clarence: That claw always does that. It just always drops it. Somethimes, you just got to use your own hands. Why don't you just reach in there and grab it.
Try: (He hold a figer trap then hands is too big to grab it.) My hands are too big.
Clarence: Here. Let me try.
(The hands is not too big, but the skinny hands grabs a finger trap.)
Try: Thanks, Clarence.
Clarence: Don't worry about it Just your friendly neighborhood wizard.
(Clarence walks very fast. Sumo looks arcade games, Sumo gasps he looks a arrow down in insert coin, Coin inserts with the boxing hand and the gun, and the helmet, He goes up that still on japan voice says "Ready, Set GO!!!" Sumo plays, Sounds "Faster! Faster!")
Unnamed yellow shirt and orange pants kid: (He plays the game called "Seal Whack". He missing few times.) UGH, Dang it! (Dog comes.) UGH! Dang it! (Dog comes again!) Dang it!
Arcade Seal Whack: Great Job, Clubber. Collect your blubber.
(The 1 ticket comes)